We went to see the OBGYN for the first time this week and we got to actually see and hear the baby! He said it was a very healthy looking baby and the heartbeat was very strong. I’m no longer half pregnant.
I officially have a live human baby cooking inside of my body.
I was holding my breath as he inserted the trans-vaginal ultra-dildo inside of me. At first I saw my womb but it looked empty — like the last time I visited. And then he swooped it around a bit, and GASP! There it was. The unmistakable baby blob. I will never forget the doctor saying, “Yup, you have a baby inside of you.”
He also said that I’m apparently TWO WEEKS further along than I thought. I have no idea how that happened. I literally did not feel like I’d be able to be fertile again that fast. And yet… wow. He was able to peg the date I likely conceived — and guess what — we totally fucked the day before! The rest of the visit was a total blur.
I basically broke down crying with happiness after hearing the heartbeat.
Thank gawd my husband was with me to take over the question-asking and detail-remembering portion of the visit. He also wrote some of the things down.
Afterwards, when I was telling a friend about the visit, he told me that he and his wife would record their doctor visits. “It’s the only way we could remember anything.” And I told him that they were fucking geniuses.
And then I broke down crying with panic when they had to take blood.
I am famous for my bouts of histrionics when it comes to anything needle-related. And this time was no different. And, in fact, was probably the worst. Because not only does this doctors office conduct blood draws in a freaking HALLWAY, but, because it was for the genetic tests for ALL the possible issues — Down Syndrome, CF, birth defects, anemia, etc. — it was also a veeeerrrrrryyyyyyyyy looooooonnnnnnnng blood draw. I swore it lasted 15 minutes AT LEAST. My husband, whose hand I was mutilating the entire time, told me it was probably just 45 seconds.
I guess we’ll never know who’s right.
So I’m 9 weeks pregnant.
Three weeks away from being 12 weeks pregnant. Which means three weeks away from us actually being able to get excited. Even though (between you and me, Internet) I’m already pretty damn excited.
Also I think our baby blob looks like a newborn puppy:
Hi! May B isn't my real name, but it's a real good name for now! I'm in a weird place as a childfree woman who decided to be a parent. And if you're on the same journey, know you're not alone. Join me as I try to figure out the wtf I'm doing. Maybe it'll be work? Maybe it won't? But it'll damn sure be interesting.