From child-free to freaking out

Recent Posts

Turn out, you CAN be “half pregnant”

Turn out, you CAN be “half pregnant”

My dad has a saying, (which he stole from his dad) that goes (and imagine this being said in a Southern drawl by a disapproving white man): “You can’t be half pregnant.” I grew up understanding that idiom meant, something either IS or ISN’T, there […]

Just another post about how your pregnancy won’t go as expected…

Just another post about how your pregnancy won’t go as expected…

I worked, for many years, on a website that dealt with all things family planning. Posts about pregnancy were regularly submitted by our readers, and everything I learned about birth was gleaned while editing these articles. Therefor I KNEW that “every pregnancy is different” and […]

Being pregnant without getting excited just feels like having a disease

Being pregnant without getting excited just feels like having a disease

I am officially four weeks pregnant. Apparently it’s the size of tomato seed and is officially an embryo now.

While I’m glad that it’s sticking around, I’m still on track with the “not getting excited about being pregnant” thing. Which means, I’m not trying to connect with this embryo in any way. Which means I’m not looking up nursery ideas. Which means I’m not feeling warm fuzzy feelings AT ALL during this time.

Which means being pregnant without being excited is basically like living with a disease.

I feel sick and tired and moody and most days I don’t have much energy to get out of bed or off the couch. I feel like an invalid. Which is not fun. I mean, the first trimester of pregnancy isn’t “fun” anyway. But at least, if you’re excited, you can feel like “I’m growing life inside of me! The grossness is magical!” But I’m like, “fuck you tiny tomato seed-sized growth inside of me. You’re the reason I’m useless and sad and sick all the time.”

And the most positive I can be about is to think, “maybe this nausea is a good sign? (more…)

I’m pregnant again after a miscarriage and things are different this time

I’m pregnant again after a miscarriage and things are different this time

Once got that positive ovulation test, we fucked so much my vagina was in pain! A week later, I had a feeling I was pregnant again. I peed on a stick a little earlier than recommended (by a couple of days), just to see what […]

On fertility and learning to be patient

On fertility and learning to be patient

I’ve been MIA from this blog because not much has been happening. I was basically in a fertility holding pattern. I was hoping, maybe even expecting, that my uterus would go back to its normal patterns after the miscarriage, but my cycle is taking longer […]

Let’s talk about getting pregnant after a miscarriage

Let’s talk about getting pregnant after a miscarriage

Now that I’m no longer bleeding after my miscarriage, and I’m starting to feel less wildly emotional, I’m realizing that my cycle is probably returning to normal. Another way I’m feeling my systems slowly coming back online is that getting horny again — which was something I was super NOT feeling when I was pregnant. So that’s convenient because…

(more…)

How to help someone after a miscarriage in 5 simple ways

How to help someone after a miscarriage in 5 simple ways

It’s been almost a week since I miscarried, and I’m still going through it… I’m still bleeding and eternally diapered in thick AF maxi pads. (I long to feel fresh air on my netherparts again.) I’m still cramping. Yesterday I had cramps that were almost […]

All the dreams that died along with that damn embryo

All the dreams that died along with that damn embryo

I had a friend ask if there was any part of me that felt relief after my miscarriage. She explained that many of her friends who miscarried had actually felt a bit relieved. So I did a deep dive into my feels, and came up […]

8 things that helped with my miscarriage self care

8 things that helped with my miscarriage self care

I started my miscarriage self care DURING my miscarriage. Fortunately I had an abortion a million years ago, so I knew what was normal for my body while miscarrying. I knew to buckle up and ride it out with a few of my self-care essentials.

If you’ve Googled this topic and ended up here, first let me say, I’M SUPER SORRY. THIS SUCKS ASS. But here’s what helped me suffer through it all in NO order of importance, and some may even make you laugh through your horrific pain… (more…)

My miscarriage at 6 weeks pregnant

My miscarriage at 6 weeks pregnant

Since the moment I found out I was pregnant, I couldn’t wait for my first trip to the OBGYN. And I am NOT one to be excited about going to a doctors office — I have a phobia of doctors, needles, filling out medical paperwork, […]