My dad has a saying, (which he stole from his dad) that goes (and imagine this being said in a Southern drawl by a disapproving white man): “You can’t be half pregnant.” I grew up understanding that idiom meant, something either IS or ISN’T, there […]
I worked, for many years, on a website that dealt with all things family planning. Posts about pregnancy were regularly submitted by our readers, and everything I learned about birth was gleaned while editing these articles. Therefor I KNEW that “every pregnancy is different” and […]
I am officially four weeks pregnant. Apparently it’s the size of tomato seed and is officially an embryo now.
While I’m glad that it’s sticking around, I’m still on track with the “not getting excited about being pregnant” thing. Which means, I’m not trying to connect with this embryo in any way. Which means I’m not looking up nursery ideas. Which means I’m not feeling warm fuzzy feelings AT ALL during this time.
Which means being pregnant without being excited is basically like living with a disease.
I feel sick and tired and moody and most days I don’t have much energy to get out of bed or off the couch. I feel like an invalid. Which is not fun. I mean, the first trimester of pregnancy isn’t “fun” anyway. But at least, if you’re excited, you can feel like “I’m growing life inside of me! The grossness is magical!” But I’m like, “fuck you tiny tomato seed-sized growth inside of me. You’re the reason I’m useless and sad and sick all the time.”
And the most positive I can be about is to think, “maybe this nausea is a good sign? (more…)
Once got that positive ovulation test, we fucked so much my vagina was in pain! A week later, I had a feeling I was pregnant again. I peed on a stick a little earlier than recommended (by a couple of days), just to see what […]
I’ve been MIA from this blog because not much has been happening. I was basically in a fertility holding pattern. I was hoping, maybe even expecting, that my uterus would go back to its normal patterns after the miscarriage, but my cycle is taking longer […]
Now that I’m no longer bleeding after my miscarriage, and I’m starting to feel less wildly emotional, I’m realizing that my cycle is probably returning to normal. Another way I’m feeling my systems slowly coming back online is that getting horny again — which was something I was super NOT feeling when I was pregnant. So that’s convenient because…
It’s been almost a week since I miscarried, and I’m still going through it… I’m still bleeding and eternally diapered in thick AF maxi pads. (I long to feel fresh air on my netherparts again.) I’m still cramping. Yesterday I had cramps that were almost […]
I had a friend ask if there was any part of me that felt relief after my miscarriage. She explained that many of her friends who miscarried had actually felt a bit relieved. So I did a deep dive into my feels, and came up […]
I started my miscarriage self care DURING my miscarriage. Fortunately I had an abortion a million years ago, so I knew what was normal for my body while miscarrying. I knew to buckle up and ride it out with a few of my self-care essentials.
If you’ve Googled this topic and ended up here, first let me say, I’M SUPER SORRY. THIS SUCKS ASS. But here’s what helped me suffer through it all in NO order of importance, and some may even make you laugh through your horrific pain… (more…)