We went to see the OBGYN for the first time this week and we got to actually see and hear the baby! He said it was a very healthy looking baby and the heartbeat was very strong. I’m no longer half pregnant. I officially have […]
I worked, for many years, on a website that dealt with all things family planning. Posts about pregnancy were regularly submitted by our readers, and everything I learned about birth was gleaned while editing these articles. Therefor I KNEW that “every pregnancy is different” and to “throw all your birth plans out the window.” I’ve had those two concepts drilled into my head.
I edited hundreds of articles on how pregnancy never goes the way you think it will.
So why was I surprised when that’s exactly my experience?
I am officially four weeks pregnant. Apparently it’s the size of tomato seed and is officially an embryo now. While I’m glad that it’s sticking around, I’m still on track with the “not getting excited about being pregnant” thing. Which means, I’m not trying to […]
Once got that positive ovulation test, we fucked so much my vagina was in pain! A week later, I had a feeling I was pregnant again. I peed on a stick a little earlier than recommended (by a couple of days), just to see what […]
I’ve been MIA from this blog because not much has been happening. I was basically in a fertility holding pattern. I was hoping, maybe even expecting, that my uterus would go back to its normal patterns after the miscarriage, but my cycle is taking longer than normal.
Starting around the time my ovulation normally occurs, I started peeing on an ovulation test and checking my undies every freaking day, just waiting for some signs that I’d be ovulating again. But it wasn’t happening. And I was getting super frustrated.
I started doing things like googling, “how to ovulate sooner” and “ways to be more fertile.” But all that Googling really showed me that what it comes down to is this: (more…)
Now that I’m no longer bleeding after my miscarriage, and I’m starting to feel less wildly emotional, I’m realizing that my cycle is probably returning to normal. Another way I’m feeling my systems slowly coming back online is that getting horny again — which was […]
It’s been almost a week since I miscarried, and I’m still going through it… I’m still bleeding and eternally diapered in thick AF maxi pads. (I long to feel fresh air on my netherparts again.) I’m still cramping. Yesterday I had cramps that were almost […]
I had a friend ask if there was any part of me that felt relief after my miscarriage. She explained that many of her friends who miscarried had actually felt a bit relieved. So I did a deep dive into my feels, and came up with absolutely no feelings of relief. Which both surprised me and also didn’t surprise me at all at the same time.
It’s weird that I’m now a person who’s sad to NOT have a baby
I spent my whole fertile life hoping to never get pregnant. And now that I’m back to not being pregnant anymore I am truly devastated. Yeah, I’m a little surprised by this. My husband even said, “If I were to tell you, when we first met, that there’d by a time you’d be depressed about not having a baby, you would never have believed me.” And he’s right. This is a new version of me for sure.
But a lot of this devastation is tied up in the fact that this pregnancy just made so much sense…
The timing was absolutely perfect for so many reasons:
I started my miscarriage self care DURING my miscarriage. Fortunately I had an abortion a million years ago, so I knew what was normal for my body while miscarrying. I knew to buckle up and ride it out with a few of my self-care essentials. […]