From child-free to freaking out

Tag: anxiety

Pregnancy: It’s all perfectly normal and probably a reason to panic

Pregnancy: It’s all perfectly normal and probably a reason to panic

If there’s one thing I’m learning about pregnancy is this: It’s ALL perfectly normal and, at the same time, probably a reason to panic. Cramping? Perfectly normal. Until it’s not. Spotting? Perfectly normal. Until it’s leads to heavy bleeding. Can’t hear a heartbeat? That happens […]

I feel violated by “The Quickening”

I feel violated by “The Quickening”

I’m halfway through my pregnancy. So much has happened and I truly thought I’d be writing more about it than I am. But… when I go to write, all that comes out is negativity and fear. And those really aren’t the mental spaces I want […]

Avoiding the Baby Crap Tsunami: Is it possible to have a minimalist baby?

Avoiding the Baby Crap Tsunami: Is it possible to have a minimalist baby?

The other day I went to Target to pick up some home essentials. I had some time to kill, so I wandered into the kid’s section. You know… just to see what I’m actively trying to get myself into.

I took one look at just the sheer size of a stroller and felt my heart drop. And then I rounded the corner and saw a wall of car seats — how does one choose? And then it really hit me… (more…)

I’m having a girl it’s triggering all my shitty gender issues

I’m having a girl it’s triggering all my shitty gender issues

Gender disappointment is A Thing, and I have it. In my research, I’ve noticed that most posts start off with apologies from the writer for having these feelings. But fuck that. I’m not apologizing for something that’s a normal part of people’s pregnancy journeys. I […]

Okay, now that I’m pregnant… What the fuck am I doing?

Okay, now that I’m pregnant… What the fuck am I doing?

I was being driven to one of my first ultrasound appointments by my husband, and I flipped down the sun shade mirror to try to scratch of a patch of dry skin on my face when I was struck by my reflection. Who is that […]

Turn out, you CAN be “half pregnant”

Turn out, you CAN be “half pregnant”

My dad has a saying, (which he stole from his dad) that goes (and imagine this being said in a Southern drawl by a disapproving white man): “You can’t be half pregnant.”

I grew up understanding that idiom meant, something either IS or ISN’T, there was no in between. And yet, now I disagree with that statement entirely. You CAN be half pregnant…

I made it to week 7 of pregnancy!

I never got here last time. Now I know that my zygote is now an embryo, and it’s the size of a small raspberry, or a small dice, or a Brookesia Micra Chameleon, which is a little bit bigger than a match head, and WAY cuter than my embryo at the moment.

This little guy is SO MUCH cuter than this terrifying thing inside of me.

Therefor, in a couple of days I will have my first doctors visit, and one of two things will happen:

(more…)

Let’s talk about getting pregnant after a miscarriage

Let’s talk about getting pregnant after a miscarriage

Now that I’m no longer bleeding after my miscarriage, and I’m starting to feel less wildly emotional, I’m realizing that my cycle is probably returning to normal. Another way I’m feeling my systems slowly coming back online is that getting horny again — which was […]

WTF is happening to me!?: Looking for the best ways to learn about pregnancy

WTF is happening to me!?: Looking for the best ways to learn about pregnancy

There’s two things you should know about me: I’ve been child free ever since I realized that was a thing. Also I’m pregnant. Which means I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT PREGNANCY! I’ve never paid attention to all-things-baby-having with any level of detail other than, it looks […]

All of a sudden I don’t feel like I’m pregnant anymore

All of a sudden I don’t feel like I’m pregnant anymore

It’s 5 weeks into my pregnancy, and I don’t feel like I’m pregnant.

I’m not getting nauseous anymore. I stopped feeling any of those twinges in my abdomen that I was getting all the time. While I still get fatigued and a little dizzy, that can easily be explained away by low blood sugar.

So I took ANOTHER pregnancy test.

(more…)

First trimester pregnancy is the worst fart joke EVER

First trimester pregnancy is the worst fart joke EVER

It’s only been five weeks and the farting during pregnancy is out of control. It’s both humiliating and scary at times. And SO SMELLY! Omg, so smelly. I silently farted in the car with my husband the other day — like I ALWAYS do and […]