From child-free to freaking out

Tag: anxiety

Avoiding the Baby Crap Tsunami: Is it possible to have a minimalist baby?

Avoiding the Baby Crap Tsunami: Is it possible to have a minimalist baby?

The other day I went to Target to pick up some home essentials. I had some time to kill, so I wandered into the kid’s section. You know… just to see what I’m actively trying to get myself into. I took one look at just […]

I’m having a girl it’s triggering all my shitty gender issues

I’m having a girl it’s triggering all my shitty gender issues

Gender disappointment is A Thing, and I have it. In my research, I’ve noticed that most posts start off with apologies from the writer for having these feelings. But fuck that. I’m not apologizing for something that’s a normal part of people’s pregnancy journeys. I […]

Okay, now that I’m pregnant… What the fuck am I doing?

Okay, now that I’m pregnant… What the fuck am I doing?

I was being driven to one of my first ultrasound appointments by my husband, and I flipped down the sun shade mirror to try to scratch of a patch of dry skin on my face when I was struck by my reflection.

Who is that girl?

That girl who is 37 but kinda looks but mostly feels SO MUCH younger is pregnant. That girl? That clueless girl who is still trying to figure out her own life is about to bring another life into this world. And then be in charge of that life? That girl who still goes into fits of rage about her own mother is going to be someone’s mother? Is that really me? How is that possible?

That wasn’t the first time that’s happened. There have been several times that I’ve felt my blood go cold and have thought… (more…)

Turn out, you CAN be “half pregnant”

Turn out, you CAN be “half pregnant”

My dad has a saying, (which he stole from his dad) that goes (and imagine this being said in a Southern drawl by a disapproving white man): “You can’t be half pregnant.” I grew up understanding that idiom meant, something either IS or ISN’T, there […]

Let’s talk about getting pregnant after a miscarriage

Let’s talk about getting pregnant after a miscarriage

Now that I’m no longer bleeding after my miscarriage, and I’m starting to feel less wildly emotional, I’m realizing that my cycle is probably returning to normal. Another way I’m feeling my systems slowly coming back online is that getting horny again — which was […]

WTF is happening to me!?: Looking for the best ways to learn about pregnancy

WTF is happening to me!?: Looking for the best ways to learn about pregnancy

There’s two things you should know about me:

  1. I’ve been child free ever since I realized that was a thing.
  2. Also I’m pregnant.

Which means I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT PREGNANCY!

I’ve never paid attention to all-things-baby-having with any level of detail other than, it looks like it generally sucks. So you can imagine that right now I have so many questions(more…)

All of a sudden I don’t feel like I’m pregnant anymore

All of a sudden I don’t feel like I’m pregnant anymore

It’s 5 weeks into my pregnancy, and I don’t feel like I’m pregnant. I’m not getting nauseous anymore. I stopped feeling any of those twinges in my abdomen that I was getting all the time. While I still get fatigued and a little dizzy, that […]

First trimester pregnancy is the worst fart joke EVER

First trimester pregnancy is the worst fart joke EVER

It’s only been five weeks and the farting during pregnancy is out of control. It’s both humiliating and scary at times. And SO SMELLY! Omg, so smelly. I silently farted in the car with my husband the other day — like I ALWAYS do and […]

How I’m learning to chill out and stop thinking about miscarriage

How I’m learning to chill out and stop thinking about miscarriage

Sigh. Is there ever a moment in pregnancy where you stop feeling stressed out and can actually enjoy it?

I went immediately from stressing out over whether or not I was going to be able to get pregnant, to stressing over losing this pregnancy the moment I got pregnant.

I seriously can’t stop thinking about miscarriage…

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I can see why actively trying to get pregnant can drive women actively insane

I can see why actively trying to get pregnant can drive women actively insane

I told my husband that when I take a pregnancy test and find out I’m pregnant, I won’t be surprised. And if I’m not pregnant, I’ll be really confused. The question is: Will I also be disappointed if I’m not pregnant? It’s been almost a […]