Once got that positive ovulation test, we fucked so much my vagina was in pain! A week later, I had a feeling I was pregnant again. I peed on a stick a little earlier than recommended (by a couple of days), just to see what […]
I’ve been MIA from this blog because not much has been happening. I was basically in a fertility holding pattern. I was hoping, maybe even expecting, that my uterus would go back to its normal patterns after the miscarriage, but my cycle is taking longer […]
Now that I’m no longer bleeding after my miscarriage, and I’m starting to feel less wildly emotional, I’m realizing that my cycle is probably returning to normal. Another way I’m feeling my systems slowly coming back online is that getting horny again — which was something I was super NOT feeling when I was pregnant. So that’s convenient because…
While I was at a cafe, writing that last post, I started looking up early pregnancy symptoms. And when I started to add them all up (exhaustion + breast tenderness + nipple changes + frequent urination) I had a feeling I was truly pregnant. I […]
I told my husband that when I take a pregnancy test and find out I’m pregnant, I won’t be surprised. And if I’m not pregnant, I’ll be really confused. The question is: Will I also be disappointed if I’m not pregnant? It’s been almost a […]
We’re given baby dolls as kids to hold, rock, breast feed(?), and care for at very young ages. And constantly told things like “WHEN you’re a mom…” That’s why, even thought I never wanted to be a mom, for a long time but I 100% thought that I would eventually become one. I assumed that being a mom was something that just happened to you without your consent — like getting your period, or dying. But it turned out that becoming a mom is something we can chose to either pursue or maybe terminate — either way, I was relieved that motherhood turned out not to be mandatory.
I can’t remember the day that I actually realized that. But I can remember how hard it hit me. It was a mind fuck. Like solving a difficult math equation (also something I’ve never been interested in doing).
It was so freeing. Because I really didn’t like the idea of another human inhabiting my body and then bursting forth from it like so much puss from an infected wound (although more painful and somehow more gross). (more…)
Hi! May B isn't my real name, but it's a real good name for now! I'm in a weird place as a childfree woman who decided to be a parent. And if you're on the same journey, know you're not alone. Join me as I try to figure out the wtf I'm doing. Maybe it'll be work? Maybe it won't? But it'll damn sure be interesting.