From child-free to freaking out

Tag: pregnancy symptoms

Turn out, you CAN be “half pregnant”

Turn out, you CAN be “half pregnant”

My dad has a saying, (which he stole from his dad) that goes (and imagine this being said in a Southern drawl by a disapproving white man): “You can’t be half pregnant.” I grew up understanding that idiom meant, something either IS or ISN’T, there […]

Just another post about how your pregnancy won’t go as expected…

Just another post about how your pregnancy won’t go as expected…

I worked, for many years, on a website that dealt with all things family planning. Posts about pregnancy were regularly submitted by our readers, and everything I learned about birth was gleaned while editing these articles. Therefor I KNEW that “every pregnancy is different” and […]

Being pregnant without getting excited just feels like having a disease

Being pregnant without getting excited just feels like having a disease

I am officially four weeks pregnant. Apparently it’s the size of tomato seed and is officially an embryo now.

While I’m glad that it’s sticking around, I’m still on track with the “not getting excited about being pregnant” thing. Which means, I’m not trying to connect with this embryo in any way. Which means I’m not looking up nursery ideas. Which means I’m not feeling warm fuzzy feelings AT ALL during this time.

Which means being pregnant without being excited is basically like living with a disease.

I feel sick and tired and moody and most days I don’t have much energy to get out of bed or off the couch. I feel like an invalid. Which is not fun. I mean, the first trimester of pregnancy isn’t “fun” anyway. But at least, if you’re excited, you can feel like “I’m growing life inside of me! The grossness is magical!” But I’m like, “fuck you tiny tomato seed-sized growth inside of me. You’re the reason I’m useless and sad and sick all the time.”

And the most positive I can be about is to think, “maybe this nausea is a good sign? (more…)

All of a sudden I don’t feel like I’m pregnant anymore

All of a sudden I don’t feel like I’m pregnant anymore

It’s 5 weeks into my pregnancy, and I don’t feel like I’m pregnant. I’m not getting nauseous anymore. I stopped feeling any of those twinges in my abdomen that I was getting all the time. While I still get fatigued and a little dizzy, that […]

First trimester pregnancy is the worst fart joke EVER

First trimester pregnancy is the worst fart joke EVER

It’s only been five weeks and the farting during pregnancy is out of control. It’s both humiliating and scary at times. And SO SMELLY! Omg, so smelly. I silently farted in the car with my husband the other day — like I ALWAYS do and […]

First trimester breast pain, aka “My boobs are going to explode”

First trimester breast pain, aka “My boobs are going to explode”

Even before I found out I was pregnant my boobs started aching. It felt like the normal “I’m going to get my period” boob pain. And then I found out it was more like “I’m going to have a baby” boob pain. And, at four weeks pregnant, my boob pain is at peak “Over-inflated Boob Pool Floats.”

From the aching and the swelling to the stretch marks and nipple tenderness… They call it “first trimester breast pain” but I call it “OMG HELP, my freaking boobs are going to explode!”

It’s absolutely driving me nuts.

Walking hurts. I have to wear two bras to get any relief.

Moving my arms hurts. In fact, I accidentally punched myself in the boob while brushing my teeth last night. I have NO idea how I accomplished that, but there ya go.

Sleeping hurts. With almost every movement, I cry out in pain as my tits get either brushed, moved, or (god forbit) squashed. So I started wearing a freaking sports bra to bed! I highly recommend this Out From Under Markie Seamless Ribbed Bra from Urban Outfitters. (2 for $25!) (more…)