Gender disappointment is A Thing, and I have it. In my research, I’ve noticed that most posts start off with apologies from the writer for having these feelings. But fuck that. I’m not apologizing for something that’s a normal part of people’s pregnancy journeys. I […]
Right now I can’t wait to tell people that I’m pregnant. But I’m also really enjoying the fact that only a few people know. I’m stuck between wanting to tell everyone and no one, because I know that when the greater public finds out, they’re […]
It’s been almost a week since I miscarried, and I’m still going through it…
- I’m still bleeding and eternally diapered in thick AF maxi pads. (I long to feel fresh air on my netherparts again.)
- I’m still cramping. Yesterday I had cramps that were almost as painful as the first day. I spent hours in bed crying out in pain and trying to pass out and sleep through the worst of it. That amount of pain was a total surprise to me.
- And I’m still on a hormonal rollercoaster. One minute I’m feeling like I’m starting to move past it, and the next I’m crying uncontrollably on the bathroom floor of a cafe. One minute I’m laughing and the next I’m uncontrollably raging because someone was rude to my dog.
While miscarriage is a normal part of many a pregnancy journey, it doesn’t mean it feels normal. Rather, it feels like I’m going insane because I can’t regain control my brain or my body. I can barely sleep some nights for fretting about everything, plus, you know, the continual cramping and discomfort.
And all through this I’ve experienced everything from the most amazing support to shocking insensitivity from friends and family. So that vein I give you…